Star Light Ministries

On a recent post on stripperweb, a dancer asked an interesting question. She wrote:

On your site it says:

Pray! Pray daily for the women who dance, for the people who work with them, for the women preparing to minister in the clubs, and for the customers and clientele of the clubs.

May I ask what it is you want people to pray for?

That was such a thoughtful question. I really had to think about it. I answered this:

I pray for safety. Some of the clubs we visit are rough places. In one club I was met at the door by the manager/bouncer/DJ who explained to me that 3 women who worked there had died in 2 months. One from a drug overdose, and two had been killed by their boyfriends/husbands. While I understand that this doesn’t happen in every club, it does happen in some clubs.

I pray that the dancers will have a financially lucrative night. I pray that the dancers are living their dreams. I pray that they are living successfully, in whatever way they define that.

I pray those same prayers for the waitresses, the bartenders, managers, bouncers, and house-moms. I pray similarly for the customers–but mostly that they find what they need in the clubs.

I believe in the power of prayer. Some people call it meditating, some call it good thoughts. I believe that it changes the pray-er more than it changes the one prayed for. If a person who is not a dancer starts to see dancers in a different way, then prayer has changed her. I like a quote from The World Famous Bob. She said, after seeing the protesters who were praying outside of the Sex Workers Art Show, “I also feel that prayer is powerful and can generate love.”

I hope we are generating love.

The website will be changed soon to reflect this. I would like to thank Maria, who asked the question, for pushing me to a more thoughtful place about my words.

Because we believe that exotic dancing is a job, not a lifestyle, Star Light is pleased to announce our new pilot program, Exotic Dancer, M.B.A. It’s a one day seminar for women who are exotic dancers. We’ll have our first graduating class on April 28, 2008, in Richmond, Virginia.

In the seminar we will feature:

The Essentials of Self-Care
Personal Finance for Exotic Dancers
The Economics of Stripping
Art Appreciation

We are so excited about this new venture. It is our sincere hope that this will help Star Light fulfill it’s mission: sharing unconditional love and friendship with women who are exotic dancers so they will not forget they are also loved and valued by God, and helping them build supportive communities and find resources for successful living.

You can find out more information here!

Exotic Dancer, M.B.A.

*I’ve received this from at least 15 people so far. I would give attribution, if I knew how.

I am a Godmother. And I have two of the cutest Goddaughters in the world. I received a report from their mother just this week, about the oldest one, who we’ll call Bright Star, who is nearly 8 years old:

I had a lingerie shower for a cousin. One of the gifts she received was a pair of red patent leather platform sandals with 5-inch heels. Bright Star was awed by the shoes and, of course, needed to try them on immediately!

She was able to dance around and jump in them. Amazing! She asked where you would wear such shoes to which her cousin readily answered “Pole Dancing.” Then the cousin explained what pole dancing is. Bright Star was intrigued by this, and I am sure was considering this as a future career choice (she could be a ballet dancer, a tap dancer, a jazz dancer, or a pole dancer!). Her cousin then told Bright Star that she would have to dance on a stage using the pole, wearing the shoes, but only in her underwear.

Bright Star asked, “Why?” When her cousin told her because if you do this men will stick dollar bills in your panties, Bright Star quickly informed us, “Girls who do that should get WAY more than dollars and should be able to carry a large purse on stage to hold the money in instead of their panties which could never hold enough!”

Mom continued, “You’d would have so been proud!”

I am proud. And she’s right. Women who are exotic dancers should get WAY more dollars than they can carry in their panties!

And on that note, please be sure to keep an eye out here this week for Star Light’s Big Announcement. We’ll be talking about how women who are exotic dancers CAN get WAY more dollars!

All of the Eliot Spitzer articles on the web have my head spinning. I’m not sure how I feel about it. It brings up so many issues, issues that can be debated (and are) ad nauseum. While I think it’s a really important discussion, I just don’t know where I stand on them. So I thought I’d just list them, and ask you, “What do you think?”

Should prostitution be legalized, de-criminalized, or remain criminalized?

Is the Netherlands model of legalization best? Or the decriminalization model of Switzerland best? In the Netherlands, all sex work has been made legal, but they are backtracking on it, because it hasn’t been that successful. In Switzerland, they have de-criminalized selling sex, but have criminalized buying sex. Some in Switzerland believe that it’s been beneficial. Others say (especially those in sex work) that it has made making a living more difficult and more dangerous.

Where are most of these articles getting their information about sex workers? Nicholas Kristof in his Washington Post op-ed cites Melissa Farley, saying, “She conducted a study finding that 89 percent of prostitutes urgently wanted to escape the work, and that two-thirds have post-traumatic stress disorder — not a problem for even the most frustrated burger-flipper.” There has been criticism of Farley’s methodologies. Kristof also says, “Studies suggest that up to two-thirds of prostitutes have been sexually abused as girls, a majority have drug dependencies or mental illnesses, one-third have been threatened with death by pimps, and almost half have attempted suicide.” There’s no citation for this. If you want to know about sex workers, ask a sex worker. Don’t ask a person working to end sex work.

I would just like to point out that many studies now say that 3 (some say 4) out of 5 women have been sexually abused by the age of 18. Why would it be any different in the population who works in sex? And why are we not talking about these statistic more, instead of focusing on pointing fingers at sex workers?

Kerry Howler coins a phrase I’ve never heard at Reason Magazine. Slut-shaming. What a great word. A poster in the comments then makes the distinction between slut-shaming and slut-mocking, writing, “If you’ve noticed that women nearly monopolize slut-shaming, while men, when not trying to gain the favor of slut-shaming women, mostly engage in mere slut-mocking, and don’t actually reject too many sluts either socially or personally, then yes it does.”