Star Light Ministries

September 30, 2007

It seems like you’ve dealt with all of your issues, huh? You think you’ve got them licked, right? Done your work, seen the therapist, the counselor, the twelve-step program. Done the emotional, spiritual, and physical work to get through them. And what happens?

They come right back up and smack you over the head!

It’s the nature of our issues. As much as we have done all the right things to get through stuff, at a later date, you can be sure, they will be back.

One of my favorite books ever is called The Little Notebook. Written by Nicole Gausseron, a French, charismatic Catholic woman who runs a homeless shelter for men. She has a conversation where she says to Jesus, “It seems like I’m an onion, and you are just peeling layer after layer away.” Jesus nods. “What will be left?” Nicole asks. Jesus responds, “You.”

Our issues are like that. We peel a layer, then we rest. Then we peel another layer and rest again. Then another, then another.

Just remember, at the end of it all, what you’ll have left: YOU

And that’s the best thing in the world.

September 27, 2007

I met a woman today who is the East Coast rep for an amazing lingerie company. She was telling me all the facts about her bras–and trust me, they are FABULOUS bras–with such a passion and understanding about breasts, fitting bras, and the fabrication. She is a working mother who stayed out of work for a few years and when she came back to work, she had to do something she was passionate about.

And to help herself stay connected to that passion, she researches bras. Her supervisors call her the anti-rep. She’s not obsessed about selling bras. She’s obsessed with meeting the needs of her clientele. One day, she was telling me, a friend told her, “You’re in the top 5 percent.”

“The top 5 percent?” She asked. The friend replied, “The top 5 percent of people who are passionate about their jobs. When you finally figure out that you are one of the top 5 percent, then you meet people who are also in the top 5 percent.”

I was thrilled to meet someone in the top 5 percent.

September 24, 2007

What would you do if you went to work everyday and had to walk through a line of people screaming at you, “You shouldn’t work here?” Or they said, “Satan is making you work here?” Or what if they said, “You are evil for working here”?

How would you feel? What would it feel like to enter the doors of your job? Would you be happy to go to work? Would you feel like you were being defiant just by being there? Or would you be ashamed? Or even worried that they might be right?

I was in a club the other day, and the bartender told me that there’s a group of Christian men standing outside her club some days, and they do just that. They try to shame the women into not going to work.

Does their tactic have merit? NO! Is their message being heard? If they intend to have a message of hate, a message of hurtful news, then yes, their message is being heard. But if they have a message of hope? Then no, it is most definitely not being heard.

How can the delivery of the message be contrary to the message itself? The Good News of Christ is a message of hope. It is a message of love. Any other delivery tactic besides respect, friendship and love is a tactic that is not from God.

Our Atlanta Care Team has very interesting news to report. From one of their male team members:

One of the other team members and I just had a lunch meeting with one of the managers at the club our team has adopted. Our goal was to give the manager an opportunity to get to know more about us, what we’re up to, and (perhaps more important to him) what we’re NOT up to. He really perked up when we gave him examples of the kinds of resources that other teams have helped network for the dancers they’ve worked with in the past. What really got his attention was the idea of providing financial planning seminars (or other related, practical topics) for the dancers.

The manager offered to have a meeting of all the dancers if we would provide some sort of worthwhile seminar. They get helpful information, and we would get a chance to meet all of the dancers in a safer atmosphere than when our team just pops into the dressing room on a random night. If we can put something like that together, I think it will be the beginning of a far more significant relationship between our team and folks who work at the club we have adopted.

The team visited later that same night. While the men visited with the manager in the daytime, only women visited the club that evening. Here’s their report:

The club was busy. We didn’t notice many women on stage, but several were giving private dances. We passed the housemom who was talking to the bartender on our way to the dressing room. She called out, “Hey Ladies, I’ll be there in just a moment”. Once she arrived, she smiled and thanked us again for the gifts. She had not previously met the team member I was visiting with. She hugged her, which was a really sweet moment. She commented that she appreciated what we did and that we just needed to keep praying!

I want to commend the Atlanta team for their tenacity and commitment to building new relationships in their club, and for having the gumption to try something new. Perhaps some of our other teams can use their example…

Because, you know, our teams ROCK!

Star Light shares unconditional friendship and love with women who are exotic dancers so they will not forget that they are also loved and valued by God.

The Hebrew Bible, or the Old Testament as many of us still call it, is filled with the exhortation, “Remember.” The Hebrews at Mount Sinai are told, “Remember the Sabbath.” Many times the Bible says, “Remember the Lord your God, who brought you out of slavery,” and many other things. Part of the reason that the people are told to remember is because they are so apt to forget!

It’s our nature to forget that God loves us. Perhaps it’s the tapes in our heads from our childhood. Perhaps it’s our own voice that tells us that we’re just not good enough. Or the voice that says that we’ve done something so bad, how could God love us?

Most of Star Light’s teams are in the South, what Flannery O’Connor calls a “Christ haunted landscape.” It’s difficult to be raised in the South without some experience of the church, whether through your parents or through friends, or even grandparents. But most of the women I’ve met in clubs don’t have happy memories of church. Their experiences range from feeling judged to being abused by the church.

If your dad was a deacon, but he beat you, would you remember the lesson from church about God’s love? If you were sexually abused by the youth minister, would you remember that God loves you enough to send bring forth a son to remind you of that love? And is the little voice in your head that reminds you, every now and again, that you are loved by God, loud enough to drown out the voices that tell you that you are unlovable?

Star Light teams stand as a reminder of that love. If you remember that I love you, by my presence in a club, can you remember that God loves you? I believe that it is the unconditional love and care of one person that can remind us that we are loved by God. It only takes one person.

Are you willing to stand as the person that reminds another that they are loved by God? Do you have to do it with words? Or can it just be mere presence? As St. Francis of Assisi said, “Preach the gospel at all times and when necessary use words.” Presence is enough.

Star Light shares unconditional friendship and love with women who are exotic dancers so they will not forget they are also loved and valued by God.

The Board of Directors of Star Light struggled most with this phrase in our new mission statement. Our previous mission statement said, “women in the adult entertainment industry.” First, the directors said, “We really don’t work with all the women in the adult entertainment industry. We don’t do outreach to anyone but women working in strip clubs.” So, we thought, let’s just say exotic dancers. But that’s not really who these women are, it’s just what they do. Another suggestion was ecdysiasts. But we decided no one would know what we were talking about.

We finally hit upon, “women who are exotic dancers.” Why? Because we recognize that first and foremost, we work with women. All the ways that we help, they are essentially things that ALL women need. And the women we work with are not defined by their jobs.

And on this labor day, I’d like for you to think: are you defined by your job? Is your job who you are? Or do you, like me, realize that “this is not who I am, it is what I do.”

And that’s why we chose that phrasing, “women who are exotic dancers.” This is not WHO they are, this is what they DO.